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Rhett Butler naplója


Rhett Butler [320010 AL], gazdája Rhett Butler
2017-04-09 Ramen King

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A napló közvetlen linkje:
http://teveclub.hu/naplo/320010
2017-04-09 Ramen King

I see two college girls with carrions, coming back. How I envy them. I want that life back. That flow. That nice continuus wave where everything makes sense and you can ignore the diesel fumes because every day is a busy day. I reember having coffee with a friend of mine. He'd come around and we'd sit in his weird BMW and get coffee any day of the week. Life was so goddamn simple. We sat around talking about politics not knowing how finite those nights were. Now I spend a whole week couped up in my apartment because I have no one to hang out with. No matter what I do or where I am I'm alone and my friends are all on different schedules. I wonder if this week was bound to be fucked up no matter what I do or if I feel so down because I thought I was about to get out of it. It doesn't matter how honest and forward I am if the other person has the emotional stability required for playing around. A slow game is better than no game but I'm sick of settling. I want a teason to leave the house. I'm that weird fucker who's glad to be back in class because he had nothing else to do. Inner turmoil got in and fucked me right in the brain. Another week in the gutter. Another step closer to redemption, yet another shutdown. Wonder which is stronger: my flailing hope that she'd actually miss me, or my well proven pessimism telling me that this just won't ever happen.



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